The Sun Files: The Pink Sun

The Research Department would like to clarify that the employee did not intentionally become involved in atmospheric observations.

The investigation began accidentally.

As most investigations do.

The employee spent her childhood in Spokane, Washington.

Every June, near the employee’s birthday, the sun appeared pink.

Sometimes reddish.

Occasionally orange.

Frequently surrounded by enough haze that the employee considered the phenomenon completely ordinary.

Research Department would like to note that the employee had never lived anywhere else.

Comparative data was therefore unavailable.

The employee naturally concluded that birthdays simply came with a pink sun.

Management strongly disagreed.

Management issued repeated safety bulletins.

“Stop looking at the sun.”

Management further explained that staring directly at the sun would permanently damage the employee’s eyesight.

Research Department acknowledges that Management’s safety recommendations were entirely reasonable.

Research Department also acknowledges that the employee continued observing the annual pink sun.

Years passed.

The employee eventually relocated to western Washington.

Research Department anticipated another routine birthday observation.

Instead…

The sun reported for duty looking completely ordinary.

Research Department immediately opened an investigation.

Additional observations were later collected in Texas.

Again…

No pink sun.

Research Department considered this unusual.

Eventually the employee returned home to Spokane.

Research Department is pleased to report that the pink sun resumed normal operations.

Several years later, the employee relocated to Kentucky.

Once again…

No pink sun.

Research Department would like to clarify that these findings remained entirely confidential.

The employee did not organize conferences.

The employee did not submit grant proposals.

The employee did not attempt to persuade coworkers that birthdays required customized solar coloring.

The employee simply noticed.

Eventually Research Department reached a tentative conclusion.

The pink birthday sun appeared to be a Spokane tradition.

Management reached a different conclusion.

Management explained that wildfire smoke and atmospheric conditions were the far more likely explanation.

Research Department accepted Management’s explanation.

Research Department simply considered it unrelated to the annual assignment.

Several years after leaving Spokane, the employee contacted Management shortly before her birthday.

Research Department requested the annual field report.

“Do you have a pink sun yet?”

Management replied immediately.

“That’s pollution.”

Research Department agreed.

“I know.”

Management continued.

“It’s from the fires.”

Research Department agreed again.

“I know.”

Research Department would like to note that agreement does not terminate an investigation.

The employee therefore asked the only remaining question.

“…But is it pink?”

Management confirmed that wildfire smoke was present.

Research Department considered this encouraging.

The conversation ended.

Research Department assumed the annual investigation had concluded.

It had not.

Further findings are documented in the next Sun File.