The Sun Files: Management Conducts a Field Inspection

Research Department would like to clarify that this report was not scheduled.

The employee had already completed the day’s assignment.

It also happened to be the employee’s fiftieth birthday.

Research Department considered this an appropriate occasion to publish the historical report concerning the 2018 Dollar Tree incident.

The employee pressed “Publish.”

Research Department considered the matter complete.

Several hours later, the employee contacted Management.

Research Department requested the annual field report.

“Do you have a pink sun yet?”

Management explained that the pink appearance was caused by wildfire smoke.

Research Department acknowledged Management’s position.

“I know.”

Research Department repeated the question.

“…But is it pink?”

The conversation ended.

Some time later, Management contacted the employee.

“I forgot to tell you…”

Research Department anticipated a routine pink sun report.

Instead, Management stated that the sun had not been pink.

“It had a rainbow around it.”

Management then forwarded several photographs.

Research Department reviewed the evidence.

The employee immediately replied,

“I just wrote about that.”

Management appeared confused.

Research Department clarified.

“I’ve seen that before.”

“It happened in 2018.”

“I literally published that story today.”

Research Department would like to note that timing occasionally displays an inconvenient sense of humor.

The employee forwarded the newly published chapter to Management.

Management reviewed the document.

Management immediately became distracted.

“What is all this Research Department and Management stuff?”

Research Department explained that reading a single chapter from the middle of an investigation rarely produces satisfactory results.

The employee therefore forwarded the beginning of the book.

Management agreed to start at Chapter One.

Several hours later…

Management called with a formal review.

The review began with concerns regarding the title.

Management expressed reservations about appearing in the book.

Management then observed that the employee apparently possessed a sense of humor.

Management further identified herself as Management.

The Research Department considers this an accurate self-assessment.

Additional findings from Management’s review are documented elsewhere in the official record.