Temporary Weather Advisory

Supplemental Memorandum

To: Local 502 Division, Management, Human Resources, Revenue Department, Regulation Services, Weather Department, and anyone documenting productivity with a calculator.

From: Executive Council

Re: Temporary Weather Advisory

Please be advised that the Electrical Division (Brain Department) underwent scheduled maintenance last evening.

Although the procedure was authorized, an unexpected side effect temporarily affected the Building’s Weather Department.

The Building, which normally operates under mostly sunny skies with an optimistic outlook, experienced scattered showers beginning early this morning.

Maintenance has determined this weather event was likely related to a recently installed chemical upgrade that proved incompatible with normal Building operations.

The upgrade has since been discontinued.

Accordingly, all departments are advised that today’s emotional precipitation should be considered temporary.

Employees may notice wet cheeks, reduced sunshine, and an increased probability of unexpected rainbows.

Halo sightings are also anticipated, as the Council believes difficult days often reveal the light that is usually hidden by clear skies.

Management is reminded that weather delays do not reflect employee performance.

Revenue Department is asked to refrain from calculating productivity during active storms.

Regulation Services is respectfully informed that not every maintenance event requires a permanent diagnosis.

The Council expects sunshine to return as the Electrical Division completes repairs.

Until then, umbrellas are optional, compassion is mandatory, and all departments are encouraged to remember that even healthy Buildings occasionally experience weather.

The Council remains optimistic.